QUESTION: A friend of mine is unmarried and pregnant. She confided in me that she is considering an abortion. She gave me a long list of reasons why, but I didn’t know how to answer her. Do you have any suggestions?

ANSWER: You didn’t list her reasons, but I think I know most of them. She probably discussed her inability to raise a child at this point in her life; feels she is not financially ready to have a child; is concerned about her educational or vocational goals; doesn’t have the support of friends, family or the father; and concluded that abortion is the best option for her at this time in her life.

The problem with all these responses is that they focus only on her. There is no consideration as to God’s will or any thought about the baby’s well-being. Jeremiah wrote, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:5). This passage provides the comfort of knowing that God has a special plan for each person, and we certainly don’t have the foresight or wisdom to choose anything better.

When you respond to your friend, be kind and comforting in your approach. She is struggling with this situation and is faced with a great amount of uncertainty and guilt. Assure her that delivering this baby is not such a terrible decision. She can parent the child or place that child with another family through adoption. She can receive support through government agencies, family members and friends. Her educational or vocational goals might be delayed, but they don’t have to be lost. In other words, help her realize that this pregnancy can continue without ruining her life. She can still make many important decisions regarding her future without facing the guilt of disobeying God in this situation.