QUESTION: A friend of mine had an abortion a few years ago and never seemed bothered by it. Now she is concerned because she may be getting married but is hesitant to tell her boyfriend about her past. Why is she changing her attitude about her decision?

ANSWER: Abortion providers tell women that abortion is safe and legal, is a good decision, and should not cause shame. Quite honestly, if they told the whole truth, few women would choose an abortion when faced with an unexpected pregnancy.

So, the short-term response after an abortion might be relief, but the long-term effects cause confusion, anger, and even depression. Your friend is just one of many women who now face the consequences of an abortion.

When dealing with your friend, consider these points:

• Encourage her to face the truth – she killed her preborn child. This might sound harsh, but she needs to confess her sin to God and seek His forgiveness (1 John 1:9) before she can expect to heal.
• Give love and support as she goes through the grieving process. Now is the time to help her move forward.
• Use God’s Word and Bible study to guide the healing process. CLR developed a wonderful resource titled, Free to Flourish, for post-abortive women.
• Give her the necessary time to heal. Recovery from an abortion experience is not handled in a few short sessions.
• Direct her to be honest with her boyfriend. A relationship needs trust and confidence to last. A hidden lie from the past can cause a struggle in a new marriage.

You might be surprised that your friend’s attitude has changed but recognize her effort to confront the mistakes of her past and her desire to move forward with a fresh start for the future. For additional resources, our website has materials to help educate you on this topic. We also have a listing online of our post-abortion syndrome care centers that provide the true comfort of the Gospel throughout the healing process.

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