Q&A on Sudden Loss and Grief

Upset stressed young african american man coping with strong headache

QUESTION: My little girl was killed by a drunk driver a few months ago. I have continued suffering in the agony of the loss and can’t understand this whole situation. Why did a loving God allow my innocent little girl to die?

ANSWER: The question that haunts many grieving people is, “Why?” Although every individual will word it a little differently, the same issues come to the surface. Why did God allow this to happen? Why do I have to live the rest of my life with this pain? Why didn’t God protect my daughter? Why didn’t the drunk kill himself rather than my little girl? Why didn’t my daughter have the opportunity to grow up and live a full life?

Before anything else, it is critical to remember that sin is the cause of all suffering and trouble. God created humans to be perfect, thereby avoiding pain and grief. Only through sin did the world face the cruel reality of sin and its consequences. For some reason, people tend to think that God will shield us from all suffering. The false conclusion then is that if we do suffer, it must be because God does not love us.

A better approach is to avoid the “why” questions? We don’t know or understand God’s every move. We simply know that God is both loving and just. Therefore, out of faith, we need to accept these events as consequences of a sinful world. We also gain confidence that our heavenly Father always does the right thing whether we understand it or not. The book of Hebrews states that “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). Place your trust in Him, ask for comfort from your suffering, and move forward in your life of service to God. The devil’s interest is keeping you mired in the past and incapable of living your faith. Realize the source of your doubts and questions and put your full faith in Christ.

On a different note, seek support groups that are geared toward the kind of loss you have faced. After you have received encouragement and support, you will likely be able to also reach out and help others.


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