QUESTION: My 16-year old niece announced recently that she is pregnant. Her boyfriend and parents are unwilling to step in to help. She has come to me for advice. I don’t want to encourage her to abort the baby, but I just don’t see any alternatives.

ANSWER: You are right that abortion is not the option for her. It might seem like a “quick fix” to her situation, but many far-reaching effects cannot be ignored. If your niece is truly unable to parent her child, then the best option for her is to place the child for adoption.

Sadly, adoption is often considered by pregnant women as the least favored of three options – parenting, abortion, or adoption. Yet, the adoption decision can be the most loving and positive choice a mother can make. A mother who places her child for adoption avoids the grief and guilt of killing her baby through abortion and also offers the wonderful blessing of a baby to a great couple.

In the past, adoption was viewed as an abandonment of the child, and terms like “put up for adoption” or “give up for adoption” were routinely used. When talking to your niece, help her realize that the most loving choice is to give her baby the chance to live and grow in a loving home, and to realize that adoption is the most selfless and considerate choice she can make. I can promise you that her child and the adoptive family will be truly thankful that adoption was her final decision.