Marriage
Relationships Require Work
CLAIM: A good marriage should be easy. If I must work so hard to be happy, I’d rather be alone. REBUTTAL: This claim is short and to the point. I am going to venture a guess that the problem here is a flawed understanding of happiness and how we achieve it. So, let’s...
Relationships Require Work
CLAIM: A good marriage should be easy. If I must work so hard to be happy, I’d rather be alone. REBUTTAL: This claim is short and to the point. I am going to venture a guess that the problem here is a flawed understanding of happiness and how we achieve it. So, let’s...
Learning from Marriage Mistakes
CLAIM: My parents got divorced, and I had to suffer through their terrible marriage my entire childhood. Why would I put myself in that situation? REBUTTAL: Witnessing or experiencing something terrible tends to make us very anecdotal. That can lead us to greatly...
Beyond “The One”: A Christian Reflection on Love, Marriage, and Polygamy
CLAIM: Humans aren’t naturally built for monogamy, and the idea of finding “the one” is just a myth. In a lifetime, men may end up having multiple wives. Even in the Bible, we see that men had multiple wives and sexual partners, sometimes at the same time. REBUTTAL:...
Church Should Advocate for Childless Marriages
CLAIM: I value marriage and the happiness it brings. That being said, I wish the church spoke more positively about choosing not to have children, especially given today’s uncertainties and the harm caused when unwanted children face neglect or resentment. REBUTTAL: I...
Transformed
By Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources “I sure miss kindergarten.” I know you have heard or read these words from me before. The older I get the more I miss the simplicity of life that I enjoyed in kindergarten. I enjoyed how my...
Gay Marriage and the Christian Response
Pastor Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources Homosexual Practices Condemned Within the Jewish and Christian teachings, there have been strong judgments against homosexual activity. In the Old Testament, we have the account of Sodom and...
Father in Alcohol Recovery Gives Perspective to Those With Other Addictions
John Cook, Marriage and Family Counselor at Wisconsin Lutheran Christian Counseling, Milwaukee, WI A father in recovery writes to his wife and children. His perspective can be applied to those involved with other addictions. To My Family, Whom I Love... I know that...
The Crisis of Fatherhood: Has It Become a Biological Burden?
What does it take to be a father today? Biologically, it simply takes fertilizing an egg. Practically, being a father is so much more! Advances in reproductive technology are robbing fathers of an awesome responsibility and privilege. We cannot deny that God has...
Family Values
Rev. Gary P. Baumler "God sets the lonely in families." (Psalm 68:6) We have the challenge to promote the family and help build solid Christian families in our midst. Here is one inescapable fact: We all come from a family. We all were born of a mother and sired by a...
Caution: Bumps Ahead (Preparing for Adolescence)
James Dobson, Ph.D. A team of doctors decided to conduct an experiment to study the ways in which group pressure influences young people. To accomplish this, they invited 10 teenagers into a room and told them they were going to evaluate their "perception" in order to...
Sharing the Facts of Life
Pastor James A. Aderman I trusted him when he told me, "I love you." He trusted me when I said the same. We trusted our emotions when they said, "It's OK. Show each other how much you care." When our relationship died, so did part of me. Even now as I relive the...
Saying ‘Yes’ to Sex
Pastor Rolfe Westendorf Society has always had trouble with the subject of sex. Some societies like the Victorian have hidden the topic in a closet as if it did not exist. Sex went on as usual, including its rankest forms of abuse, but it was never mentioned in polite...
Choosing a Doctor Who Shares Your Faith
Janet C. Lindemann, M.D. In a Christian doctor-patient relationship, faith is the common bond. How good it is for patient and doctor to share the same faith. I love caring for patients of my own church - so many barriers are removed. When a woman in her early forties...
When Dad Hits Mom
Victor Vieth, Assistant County Attorney, Cottonwood County, MN Seven suggestions to make your congregation safe for victims of domestic violence. In my career as a prosecutor, I have worked with hundreds of victims of domestic violence. I have seen the toll that...
Saved Sex Is the Only Safe Sex
Ryan MacPherson As a teenager, I hear the media telling my peers and me about sex more than any other topic. I have to ask myself two questions: What are they telling us? And, are we listening? Overwhelmingly, they are telling us about “safe sex.” And it seems we are...
Decent Sex [5-Part Series]
Part 1: Man's Word on Sex The words people use to describe sex and sexual activity already betray much about the way they feel. On the one hand are words that reveal ignorance, confusion and hurt. We hear words like "dirty," "filthy," "disgusting," "sick," and the...
Children in Church: Trial-by-Diaper
Rachel Mendell One woman encourages those who brave the terrors of worship with children. I look around and count babies, and I feel a little envy. My youngest is four now. I look around and see the young, fussy children struggling to stay still in church, and I am...
WANTED: A Truly Beautiful Wife
Pastor Mark A. Paustian What to look for when choosing the woman you want to marry. I married the most beautiful woman I ever met. She was charming and funny, lively and loved by all. Her greatest personal gifts were with children -- an excellent sign. And her face I...
Reserving Sex for Marriage
Pastor Fredric Piepenbrink God’s precious gift of sex is only for those who publicly promise faithfulness to one another for life. Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the idea of reserving sexual relations for married couples has become utterly old-fashioned....
Children Belong in Church
Laurie Biedenbender Is the sound of children disturbing or delightful? How children and adults benefit from children attending worship. "I wonder if it's worth it to bring him to church at all." Steve Bilitz, family ministry director at Christ, North St. Paul, Minn.,...
Two Halves of a Complementary Whole
Professor Mary L. Heins, Wisconsin Lutheran College, Milwaukee, WI What our God-given gender differences are and how understanding them can help you communicate better with the opposite sex. We don't have to read very far into Genesis before we learn that God created...
Breaking The Silence of Adam
Mark Clifford Brunner The Bible says that life is precious and that it needs to be guarded and held as sacred. The Lord told Noah: "And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting... And from each man I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow...
‘Til Death Us Do Part
Armin J. Panning Marriage has been instituted by God, and he continues to regulate it. The dream of many a young girl is to be a June bride. For reasons not entirely clear, June remains a popular wedding month. A couple's wedding is -- and rightly should be -- a big...
Gay Marriage Commentary
Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources Gay marriage is the moral issue "flavor of the month." We have had a few: abortion, assisted suicide (euthanasia), promiscuity, divorce, embryo destruction, cloning, gay rights, drug abuse, etc. For...
Sympathy: Feeling With Others, Not For Them
Pastor Fredric E. Piepenbrink When we sympathize with others, we are led into action, following Jesus' command to love one another as he loved us. "Sympathy is cold to the relation of distant misery," wrote Edward Gibbon. In contrast to this "cold" tendency in human...
Our Marriage Mechanic
Pastor James Aderman Determining, "Who's to blame?" requires spouses to be on opposing teams. Husbands and wives become teammates when they ask, "What exactly is wrong, and how do we fix it?" "You're late. We started supper without you." Ice-sickled words. I heard...
Empty Nesting Is for the Birds
Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources This issue of Clearly Caring is arriving in the mail between Mothers Day and Fathers Day two really big family holidays. My writing assignment for this commentary came to me the morning after my...
The Purity Ring
Michael and Judith Hayes Most little girls dream of the day they will meet their Prince Charming. A young woman begins preparing to meet the real love of her life when she is still harboring her Barbie dolls, dress-up clothes and pop beads in her closet or old toy...
Love and Respect in Ephesians 5
Christianity Today, the largest evangelical Protestant periodical in our country recently conducted a major survey of 1,250 subscribers who were chosen at random. Close to 750 subscribers and/or their spouses (divided almost equally between the sexes) completed...
Today’s Media: Righteous Indignation
Mr. Tim Snyder Righteous indignation. You know the feeling. You find something so offensive you start to seethe inside. It’s a jumbled mix of emotions and souls are at stake. You hate the sin and at the same time feel compelled to speak the truth in love. When was the...
The Joy of Being a Christian Mother
Bonnie L. Wasser The kids tell me there are certain statements I make with definite regularity: "Whoever washed the dishes, get back down here!" "What happened to all of the food I bought yesterday?" They have even dared to suggest that I make a list, number each...
Is He the One?
Laurie Biedenbender Mom gives advice on what to look for when searching for "Mr. Right." Dear Daughter, Since you were a tiny baby, I've prayed for you: that you grow in your love for Jesus, that you find your niche in the body of Christ, that you stay healthy, and...
Keep ‘Em Talkin’ – A Look at Family Communication
Thad Jahns, M.S. Cutting wood was never my favorite thing to do. After all, there were better things for a pre-teen boy to do on a Saturday afternoontelevision shows to watch, friends to hang out with, midday naps to take. What a waste of a perfectly good weekend! Not...
Managing the Tough Decisions – Discussing End-of-Life Options with Loved Ones
Julie rushed to the hospital after hearing about her Dad’s stroke. Upon her arrival, Julie was greeted by David, the social worker, who immediately escorted her into a private room. David gave Julie a full update about her father’s condition and then said, “Your Dad...
Motive // The Christian and Birth Control
This is an overview of the information in The Christian and Birth Control book, published by Christian Life Resources. To purchase the book click on the link at the bottom of this page. For years the national office of Christian Life Resources has been wrestling with...
Abortion – Men Hurt in Silence
Karen Fifer, Pregnancy Crisis Center of Wichita, Inc. "I'm pregnant." These are powerful words that can evoke fear, anxiety, joy, and confusion in men. An unplanned pregnancy puts men in a peculiar place; on one side he is supposed to stand up for what is right, and...
Divorce is Not an Option
Rev. Walter F. Beckmann I just finished reading a book my family gave me for Christmas -- Tom Brokaw's best seller, The Greatest Generation. It's a series of interviews with members of that generation called to fight World War II. My family knew I'd appreciate that...
Q&A on Divorce and Remarriage
Rev. John F. Brug QUESTION: When may a divorced person remarry in the church? ANSWER: Scripture does not treat in detail the moral propriety of remarriage after a divorce. Clearly, persons who have suffered wrongful divorces, inflicted by their spouses, are free to...
We Live Together as a Family
Rev. David J. Valleskey, Former President of Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary, Mequon, WI We Live Together as a Family... To the Glory of God As a family, the first thing we do is love one another. We were not a family. We have become a family -- by the grace of God. Now...
‘From Generation to Generation’ – Parents Nurturing Their Children’s Faith
Laurie Biedenbender We're always passing the baton of faith -- sharing the promise -- to the next generation. It's been compared to a relay race. The most critical moment is when both runners are in the passing zone, and the baton is firmly placed in the hand of the...
Lessons from the Lawnmower – A Look at Parenting
Mr. Thad Jahns I have to admit it. I am one of those guys who takes great pride in keeping his lawn in pristine condition. Not that it is a total obsession with me. I don’t religiously follow the feeding schedule as outlined on the back of the fertilizer bag. Nor do I...
Pursuing the Marriage You Thought Was Only a Fairy Tale
Pastor David Thompson, Audubon, MN Once upon a time, as the story goes, a beautiful maiden was held captive by an evil sorcerer. A most daring man seeks to rescue her. Three times he falls; three times he rises again. Finally, he defeats the evil one, sets her free,...
Understanding the Distinction Between ‘Agape’ and ‘Philo’ Love
Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources The Bible speaks of love in two ways. There is the family and friend type of love. It is the word translated in the Greek language as "philo." You perhaps know it well from the city name,...
A Family with Just Two – A Look at Marriage and Infertility
Mr. Tim Snyder, Christian Life Resources Director of Media Services There are numerous reasons why a married couple may be a family of just two. Either one or both may be unable or unlikely to have children for physiological reasons. Or a couple’s reproductive...
Defending Traditional Marriage Is an Act of Love
Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources [The following is an adaptation of a bulletin insert created by Christian Life Resources for use by congregations everywhere. The insert can be downloaded here.] I offer the following arguments in...
Tell the Truth
By Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director of Christian Life Resources Why Are We Here? Christian Life Resources (CLR) was never a ministry about convincing pro-life people to be pro-life. Though we serve all people, we are doctrinally aligned with the Wisconsin...
Q&A on Pornography and Divorce
QUESTION: I have been married nearly 30 years. Over those years I have caught my husband buying porn magazines. I told him I don't like it. I pay the bills and this past week I found a charge on our credit card for $81.46 for RachelleXXX through Paypal. I think it's...
Is There a Place Within Christian Marriage to Use Birth Control?
Rev. Robert Fleischmann, National Director, Christian Life Resources Yes, but an explanation is in order. God is the author of human life (Deuteronomy 32:39), and man is a steward, caretaker, and guardian of human life (Genesis 9:5). A Christian may decide when to...
