CLAIM:
All the men I’ve dated were Christians and either physically abused me or cheated on me. My ex-husband even had our marriage annulled by the Catholic Church so he could marry his mistress…how is this fair for people who genuinely love God, but others seem to prowl the church for their next victim?

REBUTTAL:
The claimant identifies two distinct problems that share a common denominator. The first problem is a disparity between professed Christians and their attitude about marriage. The second problem is a disparity among Christian churches regarding their views on marriage. The common denominator is the flawed nature of Christians, which will be our focus.

Understanding the Individual as Part of the “Church”
Theologians often speak of the “Church Triumphant” and the “Church Militant.” Understanding the distinction will help us partially address this problem.

One of the most recognizable references to “Church” is found in the Apostle’s Creed, where we confess: “I believe in the Holy Christian Church; the Communion of Saints.” The “Holy Christian Church” encompasses all of God’s people, those in heaven and those on earth. The “Communion of Saints” is a descriptive term for the relationship among God’s people, the deep spiritual bond that unites all believers within the Holy Christian Church. This deep spiritual bond is the acknowledgment that we are saved from our sins by the sacrifice of God’s son, Jesus Christ.

The Holy Christian Church, as the collection of all of God’s people, includes God’s people who have died and gone to heaven, and God’s people who are still living on earth. The ones who are in heaven make up what is called the “Church Triumphant.” All the descriptions we have in Scripture of heaven describe it as a place of perfection, without pain, sorrow, and suffering. Hymnals often devote an entire section to the “Church Triumphant,” with hymns focusing on those who have died in the faith and live eternally in heaven.

God’s people who still reside on earth are members of what is called the “Church Militant,” a place of imperfection, suffering, and sin. It describes the life on earth of a believer who lives by faith, yet wrestles with the troubling influences of sin around him (Matthew 24:12; Romans 8:20-22) and within him (Romans 7:14-25; Galatians 5:17).

When we think of Christians and the way they act, we would like to envision them in a state of ultimate or perfect devotion and commitment to God’s will (Church Triumphant). Sadly, professed Christians walking on earth are deeply flawed, even though they believe in Jesus as their Savior. Yes, they should know better, but the reality is that everyone is infected by sin (Ecclesiastes 7:20; Romans 3:10-12) and will accordingly act sinfully (Genesis 4:6-7; James 1:14-15).

For this reason, God’s children can occasionally act most ungodly (2 Samuel 11:1-27; Luke 22:54-62). We see it in relationships where professed Christians commit adultery, steal, and even kill. Their flawed nature sometimes overpowers their judgment, which their faith would dictate, and they act just like unbelievers. In fact, because of their professed faith, their sin seems especially obvious and troubling. Many of the directives provided in Scripture serve as warnings to God’s people against their sinful nature (Romans 8:5-8; Galatians 5:19-21; 1 John 1:8-9).

Understanding the “Church” as a Collection of Individuals
The “Church Militant,” as a collection of believers into congregations, poses a troubling dynamic. On the one hand, you have a collection of people aligned with God who presumably intend to reflect God’s will by their words, thoughts, and actions. On the other hand, each of those believers has a sinful nature (Psalm 51:5; Isaiah 53:6; 1 John 1:8). Obviously, this is a formula for conflict.

There is this thing called “groupthink,” which is where, in the interest of harmony, conformity, or consensus, people will collectively decide things that may run contrary to revelation and logic. In the Bible, the Apostle Paul warned the young pastor, Timothy, about this when he wrote:

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. (2 Timothy 4:2–4)

Pertinent to our concern in this column, a congregation or even a church body may adopt policies and practices that run contrary to God’s word in the interest of some other ideal. Sometimes a congregation morphs into something more like a social club than a collection of God’s people. They unite around some common cause, pick and choose the Bible passages that most support their cause, call themselves a church, and adopt practices and policies that don’t match God’s word. Sadly, it happens too often.

Marriage, the Believer, and the Church
God established marriage (Genesis 2:18-24; Matthew 19:4-6). It was not an invention of humans or the Church Militant. The enduring and committed nature of marriage was such that the Apostle Paul teaches that marriage is a covenant reflecting Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Whenever a believer or a collection of believers (the “Church”) treats marriage as something less than as it is described in Scripture, they are challenging its design and its Author. Because of the sinful nature of people who make up the Church Militant, we will see this, even in churches.

When someone breaks the bonds of the marriage relationship through adultery or desertion (something we will discuss in greater detail in a later installment), it does not speak to a deficiency in marriage but to the deficiency of the partners in a marriage.

Marriage is to be an honored relationship between a husband and a wife. By “honored relationship,” we are not only talking about the honor and respect the man and woman are to show to each other, but also the honor they show to God as the Author of marriage (Matthew 19:6; Hebrews 13:4). Doing God’s will honors God (John 14:15; 1 John 5:3).

Practical Application
There is no defense for anyone doing contrary to the will of God. Especially, there is no defense for the collection of believers (the “Church”) acting and espousing in a way contrary to God’s will. The solution is simple, although difficult to implement.

Begin with your allegiance to God (Exodus 20:3; Matthew 6:33; Matthew 10:37). Anchor your convictions in the solid foundation of God’s truth (John 17:17; Hebrews 10:23). While the social aspect of the “Church” is terrific, it is subordinate to the foundation of God’s word upon which it is anchored. When the objective truth of God’s word is central for a congregation, then it is less likely to be tossed about by the shifting attitudes of a sinful society. Even within such an anchored church, conflicts may still arise, but all disputes ultimately find resolution in an allegiance to God’s word.

As for marriage, despite the abuses, God intended it for the good of people. Do not give up on that which God established as a blessing.

And finally, life in the Church Militant means the ever-present struggle with the consequences of sin, even among God’s people. Our responsibility is to be beacons of light and truth. If we desire to correct errors, we do so patiently, respectfully, and with careful instruction (2 Timothy 4:2; 1 Peter 3:15). To rally the wherewithal to deal with such matters necessarily begins with introspection (Matthew 7:3-5; Galatians 6:1). Consider the depth of God’s love that rescued you from your own sins, namely the sacrifice of his own son, Jesus Christ (Romans 5:8; 2 Corinthians 5:21).