CLAIM:
We don’t need a legal document or government involvement to be truly committed to one another. Why let the state define what our relationships should look like?
REBUTTAL:
Correct, we don’t need a legal document or government involvement to be truly committed to one another. But why not?
It is the second sentence of the claim that reveals what is going on behind the first sentence. The claimant is troubled by the government defining what marriage should look like. So, let’s deal with that first.
As Christians, our allegiance is to God (Deuteronomy 6:4-5; Matthew 22:37-38). When any authority requests us to do contrary to God’s will, God’s will comes first (Acts 5:29). When any authority requests us to act consistent with God’s will, we embrace it (1 Peter 2:13-14).
The real question is whether the government’s licensing of a marriage that is consistent with God’s will (a lifelong union between a man and a woman) is appropriate and should be obeyed by Christians. The answer, simply stated, is “yes,” but the claim and the controversy surrounding marriage demand a deeper discussion.
Some Analogies
When my children were young, and we went to the county fair, we spent most of our time in the midway portion of the fair, where the children could play games and choose from a vast assortment of rides. Many of the rides had a height requirement. Riders needed to “measure up” to go on some rides. Why? It was both a safety and liability issue. There were both health and legal concerns involved. The ride’s owner needed to protect himself from legal exposure, and parents needed to know when a ride would be especially hazardous for a youngster. It was in the best interest of all parties to abide by this requirement.
Often, we feel buried in oversight. Every time we add an app to our cell phone, we receive a lengthy legal notice explaining the liabilities and rights associated with using that application. Presumably, it is for the protection of the consumer and the app developers.
When we come to an intersection on the road, it is governed by signage or lights that must be obeyed. We agreed to that when we received our driver’s license. There are significant liability and safety concerns that hinge on responsible compliance with signage and lights.
Government’s Interest in Marriage
The United States has been issuing marriage licenses since 1639, when the first licenses were issued in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. By 1929, all the states had laws requiring marriage licenses.
What’s changed is how we see marriage. It was once primarily a religious matter, but now it holds much greater significance in public life. These days, plenty of people who get married aren’t religious at all, and even among different religions, there’s a lot of disagreement about what marriage is, how it is practiced, and how it should end. That’s where the government comes in—by setting parameters and guidelines for marriage, it helps create some common ground, so everyone knows what to expect.
Laws and licenses are established to ensure that society runs smoothly, fairly, and safely. They help protect everyone, organize communities, prevent harm, and ensure that only qualified and competent individuals perform specialized work or engage in binding contracts and relationships.
God’s word supports such efforts in governing. It affirms the establishment of laws and authorities as a means of maintaining justice, order, and safety (Romans 13:1-7; 1 Corinthians 14:33; 1 Corinthians 14:40; 1 Peter 2:13-14). It recognizes the need for qualified individuals in leadership and specialized roles, and repeatedly calls for community structures that promote fairness and protection for all, including the most vulnerable. This supports the view that laws and licenses are biblically grounded in God’s design for human flourishing (Exodus 18:21; Exodus 23:6; Psalm 82:3-4).
The government’s interest in licensing marriage begins with a fundamental and very biblical reality, and that is the evil nature of human beings (Genesis 8:21; Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 8:7). The biblical record provides many stories of God’s blessings being used and abused by sinful people. The result has been a drift away from God’s will, leading to harm for those who are weak and vulnerable (Micah 2:1-2; James 2:6).
Marriage is a relationship involving more than one person. A spouse, children, grandparents, and close relatives are directly affected by what happens in a marriage. Sometimes, even with licensing, parents have deserted their responsibilities, left the relationship, and left the spouse and children to rely on the charity of others and the community as a whole for support. The government has a vested interest in licensing marriage, given how it often is left to pick up the pieces when a marriage dissolves.
Marriage is both a private relationship and a public institution with significant legal, economic, and social consequences. While couples can certainly conduct religious or personal ceremonies without government involvement, those seeking the legal benefits and protections of marriage must engage with the state’s legitimate regulatory framework. This system strikes a balance between individual autonomy and the practical need for legal clarity in a complex, modern society where marital status affects everything from taxation to medical decision-making authority.
This leads us to consider what I suspect is the real issue from two perspectives:
God Defines Marriage
The Bible is clear about marriage:
- Marriage is ordained by God, not by society or the state (Matthew 19:4-6).
- It is a covenant relationship between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:14).
- The marriage union is intended to be lifelong, marked by fidelity and perseverance (Matthew 19:6).
- Marriage makes the partners “one flesh,” signifying a deep, spiritual, physical, and emotional bond (Genesis 2:24).
- It involves leaving parents and forming a new family unit (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5).
- The relationship is designed to be sexually exclusive and a suitable context for bringing children into the world (Genesis 1:27-28; Psalm 127:3; Ezekiel 18:20; Malachi 2:14; Hebrews 13:4).
- Marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:25; Ephesians 5:32).
- Both are called to mutual love and submission, with specific calls to husbands and wives (Ephesians 5:21-25).
- Marriage is a sacred, public, and legally binding union, with its spiritual dimension as primary (Ephesians 5:31-32).
- It is designed for companionship, joy, and shared stewardship of creation (Genesis 2:18).
- Marriage is a gift from God, providing a foundation for family, community, and faithful intimacy (Proverbs 18:22)
Stated simply, marriage originated with God. He created it, defined its purpose, and determined how it should be honored and lived out.
The Government Regulates Marriage
America has religious roots. Some will debate whether they were Christian, deistic, or a hybrid of Judeo-Christian ethics. Nevertheless, early laws and practices related to marriage reflected and honored its religious origin.
Even as society’s morals began to slide and we saw more cohabitation and same-sex attraction, governing authorities were not calling it “marriage.” Instead, those relationships were referred to as “civil unions.” As such, the governing authorities could regulate those unions for similar reasons and in similar ways as they governed marriages.
As “civil unions” proliferated, so did a desire to venerate such relationships as comparable to marriage. That effort was sealed in 2015 when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry, making same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states. In a sense, the Court redefined marriage without God’s permission. More precisely, they reregulated marriage into something different than what God made it to be.
For Christians, however, marriage remains God’s creation, and they adhere to His definition of it.
Licensing, however, is still done to protect society’s interest in relationships (marriages, civil unions, or redefined marriages) for the same reasons mentioned earlier.
Promises vs. Licensing
I am aware that some Christians, adhering to God’s definition of marriage, have chosen to reject government licensing, instead upholding the covenantal weight and spiritual authority of the vows exchanged before God and witnesses. I find this approach concerning because it undermines the authority of governing authorities, portraying them as less than representatives of God, and thereby making obedience more optional than Scripture permits (Matthew 22:15-22; Romans 13:1-5; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 2:13-14).
When these passages were spoken, it was a time of great moral delinquency in the Roman Empire. Taxes were used to support many unscrupulous and sinful activities within the Empire. Those who governed did not do so with an understanding of their role as God’s representatives. Yet, the God-pleasing reaction was to honor and comply, so long as the request did not require direct sinning (Acts 5:29).
The government’s misguided and erroneous understanding of marriage does not deny those who govern their responsibility to maintain orderliness and to protect the weak, and our responsibility to comply. Licensing is how they do it, and because being licensed in a marriage does not conflict or confound the divine essence of marriage, Christians have no reason to reject such licensing. We comply for the sake of others and also in acknowledgment that we are not immune to the wanderings of our sinful natures.
Principle Uniformity
One last consideration is something I call “principle uniformity.” Stated simply, principle uniformity is the requirement for consistency. We are told,
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)
This passage is an excellent example of principle uniformity. We are not to treat people unequally, but “in everything” we treat them the same: as we would have them do to us. This is further defined as not showing favoritism (Leviticus 19:15; Micah 6:8; James 2:1) and consistently seeking to do good (1 Corinthians 15:58; Titus 2:7-8; James 1:22). When we are not fair to everyone or only seek to do good some of the time, we are inconsistent.
As pointed out in the analogies above, we consent to all sorts of licensing. We sign all kinds of contracts. Principle uniformity compels us to be consistent or to be honest with our inconsistency. If I sign a contract to make regular payments for the purchase of my home, but refuse to sign a wedding license, what is the message? If I sign an employment contract but refuse to sign a wedding license, what is the message? When I sign my driver’s license but refuse to sign a wedding license, what is the message?
A mortgage, employment contract, and driver’s license all represent serious commitments. Why would we be so serious and so committed in those matters, but not in the matter of marriage?
Uniformity in our commitments is not unreasonable nor contrary to God’s word.
Conclusion
As we commit to so many things in life, so also do we commit to things underscored as a God-ordained relationship between a man and a woman. The fact that society is messing up the integrity of marriage speaks more to what is happening to society and not against God’s establishment of marriage. Signing a marriage license today is arguably even more impactful in a social climate where marriage has been distorted and cheapened. As God’s people, we will publicly sign the license testifying to our refusal to erode this sacred estate.
Also, let’s be honest. Is the license-signing the problem, or is there an internal problem in understanding God’s will for marriage and finding that in competition with the desires of our sinful nature? While society increasingly portrays marriage as a mere social convention, God established it as so much more. We stand with God and are willing to contract ourselves in that relationship, for surely it is of greater value than a home mortgage, employment contract, or a driver’s license.
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